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I’m an editor at Poor Mojo’s almanack. I would love a theme song for the Giant Squid column.

I’ve met with the other editors and we’ve scraped up the $10,000,000* for the full-on Pants treatment, but one of my co-editors tossed this idea out:

“If we go 10,000,000*, do we want to ask for two versions? The standard rock anthem circa 1976, and then the japanese girl band punk cover from the late nineties? Figure whatever a normal 10,000,000* dollar song would be (like 2-3 minutes) and cut it in half.”

Facts about The Giant Squid:

He lives atop the Renaissance Center (aka RenCen) in Detroit.
He has a Velocitator to travel on land (it’s kind of a robo-suit)
Once fought Lincoln (or at least the spiritually animated Lincoln Memorial)
Whales are his mortal enemy
His eyes are optically perfect
He eats dogs
The Giant Squid desires to conquer the world.
The biting and crawling things of the ocean are his minions.

*Price somewhat exaggerated for your reading pleasure.