It’s been a gradual transition that wasn’t always even apparent to me, but I can definitively say now that my work will be focused more on my YouTube channel than this website. (Though a redesign is on its way that will integrate the two a bit more anyway.)

Of course, all the songs here will stay up for your enjoyment – some might even be made into videos in the near future. :) I will also continue to do commissions.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement over the years. Things are getting bigger and better and I hope you’ll stay on this magic carpet ride with me forever!

Thanks to Rachelle for the mini-commission to get this Intergalactic piano part written out. Enjoy!

(Click for big.)

Ever since writing WE ARE THE ROBOT PIRATES I’ve been asked by many of you to write a song about their opposite: Zombie Ninjas. The journey has been four YouTube videos long and here it is finally!!

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I need a theme-song for a free flash-video game that will be used to advertise my upcoming novel. My book is about the Traveling Tyrant, a space merceanry who flits about the galaxy doing bad things for a price.

I thought Big Pimpn by Jay-Z had a nice tune to it, and I think the quasi white guy rapping approach would lead to the humor.

Mordid the Traveling Tyrant
The Traveling Tyrant is the ‘brand’ behind a space mercenary organization which Mordid leads as the ‘Tyrant’. Ladies man, so he thinks. On Fridays he doesn’t wear pants because it’s casual fridays at the ‘office’. He’s acidic with his tongue and brave for a price. He accidently invaded a planet filled with interpretive dancers, but offered them a discount on his services as an apology. He’s not the first Traveling Tyrant but aims to be the last and only. He’s mercenary ‘scum’ from a system of worlds that are lawless. Cover of book shows him and is found at worksofrichardmarsden.com Sayings: “Onwards, in the name of me!” and “For profit and fun!”.

Eryn of PR
The dark haired, leggy female beauty of the Tyrant’s brand. She films him and sets up propaganda pieces but also doubles as his chief interrogator and torturer. She giggles as she cuts people. She’s a bit OCD and likes to keep clean and is all smiles, but her best friend is a sharp knife and a camera lens.

General Thrask
A big burly man with a flat-top and too many scars. He’s the Tyrant’s general and bullies his way around. He’s good at killing people and organizing troops. He wants to be the Tyrant but lacks the skill to pull it off. Most his plans backfire.

Diplomat Mauss
The oldest member in the command staff, he’s a skeletal looking man whose made and broken Tyrants. He’s the man who finds Mordid work, mentors him, and occasionally threatens him.

Jenkins
A low-ranking soldier who takes every opportunity to move his way up the Tyrant’s corporate ladder. He’s young and bold but often gets in way over his head. His team-mate is a should-be-retired soldier by the name of Karlson who moans and groans but tags along regardless as the two seek their fortunes.

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I wonder if you could combine IDM with rap?

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I need a song for my boyfriend for christmas. I have no idea what to get him and I know he loves Street Fighter and eating Chips Ahoy cookies haha. I thought this would be perfect. A made-up song for him for christmas.

We are all about having fun and joking around with each other so a funny song would be awesome! The lyrics can be very fun and even full of puns if you want. Adam always makes crazy jokes too. Here are a few things that would be awesome in the song:

-He nicknames me Doris from True Lies because he thinks I look a little like Jame Lee Curtis, but I don’t think I do. His nickname is Toby (his parents were going to name him that but then they decided to name him Adam).
-We both used to work at Cedar Point, an amusement park, and that’s kind of how we met
-We both love playing videogames (we are both gamer nerds) His favorite game is Street Fighter. He always kicks my butt at Street Fighter but I can take him out in Tekken. :D
-I make fun of him for drinking Smirnoffs and I drink beer.
-We LOVE going to eat Chinese restaurants and Olive Garden.
-Nicknames: Mr. Rubs and Miss Bubbles
– He loves to say crazy things that he knows I can’t stand but everyone else thinks it’s hilarious.
– “Excuse me…..i faahhted”

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I have a brother called Dave. His girlfriend and I want to buy him a song for Christmas. It should be in a beat-boxing/rap style (he likes to beatbox and is much better than the teenagers on the bus). It should extoll the virtues of Samurai Dave, the badass-est badass Samurai never to be an actual Samurai.

– he collects and makes swords out of wood, metal, bits of chair, whatever he can find
– he has a staffordshire bull terrier called Nathan Explosion
– while we were in Japan we made up euphemisms for Japanese words that we didn’t want people to overhear us say on the train:
>>”serious man with a serious dog” = a samurai
>>”flash-stepper” = ninja
>>”colourful rogue” = yakuza
– instead of ‘no, no, it’s fine’ he accidentally said “No, no, it’s cake” to a (non-cake)shop assistant in Japan
– he isn’t afraid to dress up as a lady when the need arises or just because it would be completely inappropriate
– we have been calling him a corpse-dragger because in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. he fills corpses with items and drags them around behind him like macabre suitcases
– he likes to dress the pets up in outfits that he has made himself, like kimonos and robot costumes
– he likes snakes
– insisting on picking the best and prettiest roses for little phillip, haha (Phillip was a possum that was rescued from being pecked to death by birds and we had to feed her plants from the garden until she was old enough to be released)

The first time Dave went to Japan he burst one of his lungs and had to go to hospital in a town which had never seen a foreigner before; the ambulance people couldn’t pronounce ‘David’ so they just called him ‘Rabbit’. All the nurses had crushes on him and kept bringing him little presents and notes and things, including the cool male nurse who bought him manga. They actually had to operate on him and poke holes in his chest, and that was when Dave discovered that the Japanese don’t really believe in anaesthetic. Also, he now has wicked scars.

At an izakaya in Tokyo, Dave (and I) tried to order ‘various pig parts’ expecting different cuts of pork – which is how we ended up eating pig heart, lungs and intestines. Actually, here is a list of things Dave ate in Japan: bee larvae, teriyaki crickets (their knees get stuck in your teeth), ostrich, pig organs, snake wine, curry with cheese (EVERYTHING WITH CHEESE), and sake-in-a-jar

In Japan we sat in bus-stops and drank sake out of a jar like hobos. It was awesome.

Dave once bought sandwiches for the yakuza. It is his deepest shame.

Instead of finding out where a bar/pub is from, oh I don’t know, the internet, Dave likes to make me walk the streets of strange cities at two in the morning, turning down back alley after back alley because the perfect pub is ‘probably somewhere down there’. Also, Dave can wander through the streets of a strange city and find the same pub he visited last time he was there over a year ago.

Dave has twice fit through the nostril of the Buddha which is SUPER LUCKY. there is a giant wooden Buddha at Nara and out the back of the shrine there is a huge wooden column with a hole at the base of it the same size as the nostril of the Buddha. Usually only children can do this. I do not understand.

Dave’s hobbies/interests include: collecting dogs, hitting things with sticks, sword-fighting with bits of dowel shoved inside a pool noodle, leaping around like he is a samurai/ninja, beat-boxing, jujitsu, furniture making, climbing up things that are dangerous to climb, embarrassing his sister…

Dave once had a pet wolf spider called Bigby. ‘He’ laid eggs. They hatched. The house was then filled with baby wolf spiders. Dave cannot tell the sex of spiders, I guess.

He used to be in a children’s circus troupe. As a result he is stupidly good at climbing/swinging/leaping over things. Never tell him something like that is impossible. He will definitely do it then.

He hates lettuce, cucumber and watermelon — all the inoffensive fruit and veg. In spite of hating lettuce, Dave once attempted to make lettuce soup. It was a disaster. His dog, meanwhile, likes bananas.

Dave likes beer — but only ale. Lager is no good.

SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS

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I got Sarah (Dave’s sister) to sneakily record him beatboxing so I could use it in this song. How rad is that. Also this may be the most information about a person I’ve ever crammed into one song.